And now back to our reporter on the field. Get this: in Australia you can get whiskey and coke in a can. Mixed. I tried explaining to some locals why that’s “ha ha” funny to me but didn’t have too much success.

Alas this is the conclusion of my sojourn in koala-land. I’m writing this on the plane on my way to Japan. Which is appealing in its own way of course, but I really enjoyed myself in Australia. I discovered the ibis. Met some lovely people. The fact that we actually had a few days off for the first time in eons didn’t hurt. It all started in New Zealand, which might just be my favorite kick-back destination. Now when I say kicking back, I’m not talking about picnics and trips to the planetarium. Kanye was in the studio every day cooking up, and I had turntables in my hotel room working on my own shyte.

But just the fact of not having to pack up and go to another city every single day was bee-yoo-tiful. Common was with us for about a week, and he’d make appearances at our shows. Actually in Brisbane De La was in town too. They came up and did “The Bizness” with Com (that’s a nice “thank god I’ve got all these songs in Serato” moment). I was geeked! I also did a bunch of radio appearances while I was there. Then at our Sydney show, Kanye hurt his ankle while performing “Addiction”, which is only the 5th song of the set. I didn’t even notice on the spot because the lighting is so zany on that song. But he came and told me 2 songs later, and eventually told the crowd too. In fact he had to get an ankle brace and a hefty glass of Henny to get through the show. And to compensate for his limited movements we even did some extra songs, which I thought was pretty damn brave. Turns out he had a small fracture. I wonder if he’ll make a song about that one. (“Through the Ankle Brace”?)

Another thing that’s different on this tour is that I now have a mic — not to do back-ups or anything, just to blurt out various non-sequiturs, punctuating Kanye’s yapping between songs. You see, he never wanted a hypeman so he never gave anyone else a mic. And heck, I’m not one to do back-ups anyways so I never asked for one either. But when we’re on the bus or at the airport being smartasses and quoting Anchorman there’s a good amount of wit in the air. The wit-meter has some nice peaks. So Ye was like “we need to bring this on stage” and now I can say whatever goes through my noggin. This gig is more Paul Shaffer-ish by the day!

And um, last Thursday was my birthday… Two dozens! Can you say “yikes”? (I know I can, look: yikes.) My mom sent me the best card ever…

Now there’s about a week left before the end of the tour. Our last Australian show was at the Sydney Opera House, and it was the first rap show ever in that building. It looks super impressive from the outside, but somehow inside it kinda felt like a big office party gone wild. I was looking for the dudes with neckties around their foreheads. Anyways it was pretty historic nonetheless, if I may say so myself (and I may because it’s not my show.)

Meanwhile, back in reality… By the time this update goes up my DVD will be out. No more “when’s it coming out?” emails! If you like to shop on the information superhighway, buckle up because Turntable Lab is giving you a GLC & A-Trak “Drive Slow” mixtape with your purchase. (Bargain alert! ding-ding-ding!)

There’s been a decent amount of press coming out lately too. If you’re in Canadia you might know me from such magazine covers as: Peace magazine! Representing lovely at Fairmount Bagels with Chromee-o-me-o, my brother is looking more Jewish than ever, and P-Thugg is looking more Booya Tribe-ish than ever.

There’s also a 4-page article in Elemental, a nice piece in i-D, a day-in-the-life thingamabob in Complex, a bar-mitzvah questionnaire in XLR8R, and a bunch of other goodies too. But the one I’m impatiently waiting for is my article in Penthouse. I’m not kidding! I heard it just came out actually. You can now buy that magazine for an article! See what I do for you?